It's my birthday, and I'll eat corndogs if I want to!
...also, onion rings.
Mittwoch, Januar 31
Montag, Januar 29
I think today I actually blushed for the first time in my life. Maybe I had just never been uncomfortable enough to blush, and today I was. It also may have had something to do with the fact that I should not have been wearing my warm jacket inside the classroom. Anyway, I didn't see myself, I didn't actually see it, but I am pretty sure that today I blushed. It was terrible.
Down here where the heat's so fine
I'll drink to your health, and you drink to mine.
Something about the way this song sounds makes me want to cry. It has something in it that gives me that scary summer feeling where everything seems so eternal but not really, not toally, not quite. The kind of eternal feeling that makes you feel like you are about to die? The knowledge that time is passing quickly even as you're feeling eternal? Something like that.
Something about the way this song sounds makes me want to cry. It has something in it that gives me that scary summer feeling where everything seems so eternal but not really, not toally, not quite. The kind of eternal feeling that makes you feel like you are about to die? The knowledge that time is passing quickly even as you're feeling eternal? Something like that.
Sonntag, Januar 28
Donnerstag, Januar 25
Happiness
Whitfield is going to England too!!!!!!!!
We will probably be like 3 hours away from each other but still!
I finally confirmed today that my letter of rec made it to the office, so I am officially done with the application process. Now all I have to do is wait... come onnnnnn London!
We will probably be like 3 hours away from each other but still!
I finally confirmed today that my letter of rec made it to the office, so I am officially done with the application process. Now all I have to do is wait... come onnnnnn London!
For your consideration
(rothberg especially)
"That warm winter night in Tuscon. My reading was scheduled for the six-thirty slot by the University of Arizona. A few hundred people showed up-- old more than young, mostly brown. I liked my "them," in any case, for coming to listen, postponing their dinners. In the middle of a paragraph, a young man stood up to gather his papers, then retreated up the aisle, pushed open the door at the back of the auditorium. In the trapezoid of lobby light thus revealed, I could see a crowd was forming for the eight o'clock reading--a lesbian poet. Then the door closed, silently sealing the present. I continued reading but wondered to myself, Why couldn't I get the lesbians for an evening? And the lesbian poet serenade my Mexican-American audience? Wouldn't that be truer to the point of literature?"
...
"I think the new writer should not assume that there are going to be readers of her work. There are many writers of value today who are barely read and may turn to video games for their living. On the other hand, there are writers, in our nonliterate culture, who manage to seduce some portion of the reading world or, at least, Oprah Winfrey. In short, the writer should be strong. But to those who are crazed by the enterprize, and need to write, as they need to pee or eat or sleep, my advice will not console them or help them get published or read."
-Richard Rodriguez
"That warm winter night in Tuscon. My reading was scheduled for the six-thirty slot by the University of Arizona. A few hundred people showed up-- old more than young, mostly brown. I liked my "them," in any case, for coming to listen, postponing their dinners. In the middle of a paragraph, a young man stood up to gather his papers, then retreated up the aisle, pushed open the door at the back of the auditorium. In the trapezoid of lobby light thus revealed, I could see a crowd was forming for the eight o'clock reading--a lesbian poet. Then the door closed, silently sealing the present. I continued reading but wondered to myself, Why couldn't I get the lesbians for an evening? And the lesbian poet serenade my Mexican-American audience? Wouldn't that be truer to the point of literature?"
...
"I think the new writer should not assume that there are going to be readers of her work. There are many writers of value today who are barely read and may turn to video games for their living. On the other hand, there are writers, in our nonliterate culture, who manage to seduce some portion of the reading world or, at least, Oprah Winfrey. In short, the writer should be strong. But to those who are crazed by the enterprize, and need to write, as they need to pee or eat or sleep, my advice will not console them or help them get published or read."
-Richard Rodriguez
Mittwoch, Januar 24
The note taking at the che tonight was a huge success. I have 9 full pages of hand-written nonsense which I must somehow condense into 4 pages worth of thoughtful decent writing by 1:00 tomorrow. And also at least attempt to do my other homework, I guess.
Anyway I was wrong about the bad music, because it was all good, really good. The finches were mesmerizing as always, and Rafter was super fun, not at all what I was expecting after having listened to the few songs from Music for Total Chickens that have already been released to make music videos out of. I guess I like his older things better. Despite the fact that by the time they went on I was totally burned out and braindead, I enjoyed the set very much. Also, I am deeply in love with the male singer in the finches. He's wonderful. But don't tell him I said so.
OK, gotta get to work.
p.s.- Just now I walked by charlenes closed door and smelled salt and vinegar pringles. I IMed her to confirm, and I was right! I always knew I had a good sense of smell, even if I am half deaf.
Anyway I was wrong about the bad music, because it was all good, really good. The finches were mesmerizing as always, and Rafter was super fun, not at all what I was expecting after having listened to the few songs from Music for Total Chickens that have already been released to make music videos out of. I guess I like his older things better. Despite the fact that by the time they went on I was totally burned out and braindead, I enjoyed the set very much. Also, I am deeply in love with the male singer in the finches. He's wonderful. But don't tell him I said so.
OK, gotta get to work.
p.s.- Just now I walked by charlenes closed door and smelled salt and vinegar pringles. I IMed her to confirm, and I was right! I always knew I had a good sense of smell, even if I am half deaf.
Montag, Januar 22
Sonntag, Januar 21
Half Handed Cloud- Skip the Rope : )
My banjo skills are seriously lacking.
The good thing about doing laundry on a saturday night is you can do all four (yes, four!) loads at once. The bad thing about doing laundry on a Saturday night is that you're doing laundry on a Saturday night.
I think I am going to do my writing assignment about the show I am going to at the che cafe on tuesday. The Finches and Rafter will be there, as well a couple other bands I have not heard of. Terrible music and hip kids will abound, and it should make for some good material.
My banjo skills are seriously lacking.
The good thing about doing laundry on a saturday night is you can do all four (yes, four!) loads at once. The bad thing about doing laundry on a Saturday night is that you're doing laundry on a Saturday night.
I think I am going to do my writing assignment about the show I am going to at the che cafe on tuesday. The Finches and Rafter will be there, as well a couple other bands I have not heard of. Terrible music and hip kids will abound, and it should make for some good material.
Samstag, Januar 20
Hand that pen over to ME, poetaster!
How can someone with such a passion for reading end up being such an excruciatingly slow reader? I will never be able to accept it. Of all the things I hate about myself, this ranks very high. I see now that it can only end in my ruin. Or at least it would, had I not at least one other hand to play.
The good news is that my workshop group really liked my essay about working at Logan's Roadhouse. The bad news is that my next assignment is to sit somewhere for 3 hours and write about what goes on there, but I can't think of anywhere to sit. Suggestions? And no, I can't use a coffee shop.
Oh where is my inflammatory writ?
I wrote it and I was not inflamed one bit!
The one person I am capable of loving despite my jealousy for his talent:
The good news is that my workshop group really liked my essay about working at Logan's Roadhouse. The bad news is that my next assignment is to sit somewhere for 3 hours and write about what goes on there, but I can't think of anywhere to sit. Suggestions? And no, I can't use a coffee shop.
Oh where is my inflammatory writ?
I wrote it and I was not inflamed one bit!
The one person I am capable of loving despite my jealousy for his talent:
Freitag, Januar 19
There is no way I will ever be able to finish all of my homework for any given day. No possible way. When you have an entire Jane Austen novel, half of Gulliver's Travels, a three page essay, german homework, work, actually attending classes, going to the gym, eating, and sleeping to do, you just have to pick and choose what's most important to you each given day. Today I chose reading, and I chose wrong, because although I spent the entire afternoon and evening at it, I am still not even close to done and haven't even touched my german homework. I may as well have just gone for the sleep. I hope I can at least partially catch up this weekend. yikes.
Donnerstag, Januar 18
Montag, Januar 15
double standards
Within the past couple of years I think I have become somewhat of a feminist. Or maybe not so much, but at any rate I have lately been noticing a lot of things that suck about the way we think about women and men. Here are two things that have recently annoyed me.
1. The notion that in order for a woman to be a singer she must have a good voice. There are plenty of men who sing who have very average or very bad voices. Yet a woman feels that her voise must be "pretty" in order for her to use it. I discussed this with Sarah and she suggested that part of this might come from the fact that when girls are in band, they often sing and do nothing else. So in that case it would make slightly more sense that we expect her to have a good voice, but is still not totally fair in my opinion. If a person wants to play music and sing, they should do it, and if it's socially acceptable for a man to get up there and belt out complete crap, it should be for a woman as well.
2. The notion that any book with a woman as the main character is necessarily a girl book. Or even that any book written by a woman must be a girl book. So not fair! Women read books about men ALL THE TIME. Yet a man can't pick up Jane Eyre without being gay. Just because a character is a woman, just because the story may have something to do with love or marriage, doesn't make it sappy or stupid or girly. Obviously what brought this to mind was all the thinking I've been doing about Jane Austen lately. Her novels are notoriously known as chick books, love stories, etc. But anyone who's actually read one of them knows that this is entirely not the case. Her novels are actually about the economics of marriage, marriage without love, marriage because it's your only choice. They are about choosing the lesser of two evils. They are about the marginalized position that women of a certain time period and social class found themselves in, and the limited choices they had to make within those confines. There are no romantic love scenes, Darcy proposes to Elizabeth casually during a walk through the park, and Wentworth finally tells Anne of his true feelings throuhg a slightly anticlimactic letter. I could go on. But more importantly, they are well written, full of irony and double meanings and the subtle sarcasm that makes them so enjoyable. I think that Oscar Wilde said something like there is no such thing as a good book or a bad book, a book is either well written or badly written. And I think the same goes for this; there is no such thing as a girls book or a boys book. If it's a good book, everyone should be able to read it without some social stigma attached to it.
...
girl power!
1. The notion that in order for a woman to be a singer she must have a good voice. There are plenty of men who sing who have very average or very bad voices. Yet a woman feels that her voise must be "pretty" in order for her to use it. I discussed this with Sarah and she suggested that part of this might come from the fact that when girls are in band, they often sing and do nothing else. So in that case it would make slightly more sense that we expect her to have a good voice, but is still not totally fair in my opinion. If a person wants to play music and sing, they should do it, and if it's socially acceptable for a man to get up there and belt out complete crap, it should be for a woman as well.
2. The notion that any book with a woman as the main character is necessarily a girl book. Or even that any book written by a woman must be a girl book. So not fair! Women read books about men ALL THE TIME. Yet a man can't pick up Jane Eyre without being gay. Just because a character is a woman, just because the story may have something to do with love or marriage, doesn't make it sappy or stupid or girly. Obviously what brought this to mind was all the thinking I've been doing about Jane Austen lately. Her novels are notoriously known as chick books, love stories, etc. But anyone who's actually read one of them knows that this is entirely not the case. Her novels are actually about the economics of marriage, marriage without love, marriage because it's your only choice. They are about choosing the lesser of two evils. They are about the marginalized position that women of a certain time period and social class found themselves in, and the limited choices they had to make within those confines. There are no romantic love scenes, Darcy proposes to Elizabeth casually during a walk through the park, and Wentworth finally tells Anne of his true feelings throuhg a slightly anticlimactic letter. I could go on. But more importantly, they are well written, full of irony and double meanings and the subtle sarcasm that makes them so enjoyable. I think that Oscar Wilde said something like there is no such thing as a good book or a bad book, a book is either well written or badly written. And I think the same goes for this; there is no such thing as a girls book or a boys book. If it's a good book, everyone should be able to read it without some social stigma attached to it.
...
girl power!
Samstag, Januar 13
It's funny when people get in trouble and then tell other people about it. Because each time they tell the story they get gradually more and more innocent until even they believe it's true. I guess if you want to feel better about something incredibly stupid you did, then, you should tell as many people as possible about it until you are able to remember it in a way in which you are no longer responsible, or if you were, only slightly, and even then it was mostly just bad luck. So... I RAN A RED LIGHT AND GOT A TICKET! woe is me! I am such an incredible idiot. Ok, this is not working.
Donnerstag, Januar 11
Half of what I say is meaningless
the scene is thus: german discussion, 9:30 AM, york hall. teacher is describing the beat movement in 1960s germany. Is currently discussing music.
"...such as the Beatles. Is anyone a Beatles fan?"
I weigh my options. I could go non-conformist and not raise my hand. I could justify it to myself-- overrated, haven't listened to them for months, have a newfound approval for the current music scene, see no need to harp on the past. I decide against it. It would be unforgivably elitist not to raise my hand. I raise it.
Half a second later I realize that nobody in my line of vision has raised their hand with me. I look right, I look left, I look right again, twisting my head around for good measure. Nobody in the entire room has raised their hand besides me!
At first I was just mildly embarassed. The class went on and I didn't think about it too much. But now, sitting here considering it, I am completely dumbfounded. Who ARE these people?!!! EVERYONE likes the Beatles. They are VERY FEW people out there who do not like the Beatles! What the odds of 30 non-beatles-liking young college students ending up in the same classroom all at once? It's not that I care about their music taste, though I think it goes without saying that these kids are the rankest of philistines. I am more just baffled by the probability of such a phenomenon having occured. nobody? NOBODY?! So much for not looking like an elitist, eh? my goodness.
"...such as the Beatles. Is anyone a Beatles fan?"
I weigh my options. I could go non-conformist and not raise my hand. I could justify it to myself-- overrated, haven't listened to them for months, have a newfound approval for the current music scene, see no need to harp on the past. I decide against it. It would be unforgivably elitist not to raise my hand. I raise it.
Half a second later I realize that nobody in my line of vision has raised their hand with me. I look right, I look left, I look right again, twisting my head around for good measure. Nobody in the entire room has raised their hand besides me!
At first I was just mildly embarassed. The class went on and I didn't think about it too much. But now, sitting here considering it, I am completely dumbfounded. Who ARE these people?!!! EVERYONE likes the Beatles. They are VERY FEW people out there who do not like the Beatles! What the odds of 30 non-beatles-liking young college students ending up in the same classroom all at once? It's not that I care about their music taste, though I think it goes without saying that these kids are the rankest of philistines. I am more just baffled by the probability of such a phenomenon having occured. nobody? NOBODY?! So much for not looking like an elitist, eh? my goodness.
Mittwoch, Januar 10
Chaucer, Milton, and JK Rowling
I have this complex where in order to write any sort of paper or essay, I have to be in "the zone." I actually call it that. I actually say to my roommate, "I can't write it right now, I'm not in the zone." It's pretty retarded. But the thing is that the zone never chooses to grace me with its presence until right before the deadline. Like the stupid essay I have been putting off for my study abroad application. It only has to be 2 pages long and I had all of break to do it, but I couldn't bring myself to sit down and type it up till just now, tonight. My first paragraph ended up being actually pretty good (the rest is boring stuff they want to know about academics and crap), cause I was in the zone. The first paragraph from last time I attempted to write it was complete and total crap. I was ashamed to go back and read it. I wanted to kill whoever had written it. Thus are the hazards of attempting to write outside the zone. Anyway it's almost done now, and therefore so is my application and I am pretty happy about that!
Montag, Januar 8
Samstag, Januar 6
Freitag, Januar 5
Here are some things which I have recently enjoyed:
Tha Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (half of it anyway)
the Santa Anas
The Ice Storm by Rick Moody
Flannery O'Conner
Wolf Parade
sleepsleepsleepsleep
leftover Christmas candy
I am totally incapable of being productive these last few days of break. Hopefully when I return to school I will have the proper motivation to finish my application for England. I mean I will do it anyway, but hopefully I am motivated to. I can't believe I am actually doing this. I literally cannot believe it. And I can't decide whether I am looking forward to the moment of realization or not.
Tha Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (half of it anyway)
the Santa Anas
The Ice Storm by Rick Moody
Flannery O'Conner
Wolf Parade
sleepsleepsleepsleep
leftover Christmas candy
I am totally incapable of being productive these last few days of break. Hopefully when I return to school I will have the proper motivation to finish my application for England. I mean I will do it anyway, but hopefully I am motivated to. I can't believe I am actually doing this. I literally cannot believe it. And I can't decide whether I am looking forward to the moment of realization or not.
Donnerstag, Januar 4
alarm clock who?
Oh dear. The prospect of going back to working and classes in a few days is frightening me a lot at the moment. The idea of 9 AM gives me the same feeling that I get when I think about like maybe careers, or eternity. I spent my whole break being disgusted at myself for sleeping too much, but now I realize I should have been savoring every minute of it. Oh dear.
Dienstag, Januar 2
405 North
I went to the Getty today with SARAH! I love Sarah, and I love the Getty too! It was great. It has incredible views of the city and also the ocean, and cool fountains and gardensand cacti, and a knott's berry farm-esque tram! But you already knew this. Anyway There were so many especially adorable intellectual boys there and some of them even had beards! And we saw a really nice photo exhibit with everyday life type pictures from accorss the country. Basically the Getty made me love America, especially LA, and it's inhabitants, especially bearded art loving intellectual boys. The only bad thing about it was that these same three people kept invading my personal space box. It was so not cool, and they weren't even foreign so they had no excuse. I think they may have been playing a joke on me.
Oh yeah and I also found out that the valley is just like the 909 only denser, and also that sarah's friends are nice.
Oh yeah and I also saw this and it was amazing. peace!
Oh yeah and I also found out that the valley is just like the 909 only denser, and also that sarah's friends are nice.
Oh yeah and I also saw this and it was amazing. peace!
Abonnieren
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