Sonntag, Dezember 31

Samstag, Dezember 30

king sized bed...

Anu, if you're out there somewhere, you should know that this conversation just took place.

me: dude, where the hell is Anu?!?!/1

charmander: I dunno, maybe she's still in south america.

me: did she die on the trek to machu picchu or something?!

charmander: if she died in machu picchu, you'd get a whole room to yourself!

me: ooooh good point.

{pause}

me: a BIG room!

Donnerstag, Dezember 28

If you run, he will chase you

I haven't been writing in this thing because I have been playing my banjo instead. Basically I only have time in the day for sleeping, hanging out with people, and one other thing. Usually that one other thing is the computer. But this week it is banjo. I don't actually know of many musicians that play the banjo so I have been working on some easy sufjan songs. Like "It's Christmas! Lets be Glad!" which only has 2 chords until you get to the chorus, which is where I stop, and also "Seven Swans" which is nice and slow and features chords which are close together and not that hard. I think I have improved a litle bit. At any rate, I have memorized a lot of chords, which is a good start I guess, even if they sound like crap when I actually play them. Does anyone have advice about howto go about learning a string instrument? Do you just learn a bunch of songs and figure out chords and technique as you go along? Or do you learn chords and technique and then pick songs you know you can play? Do you learn theory first, or last? Do you learn to read sheet music or tabs? I have never taught myself an instument before so this is all new to me.

I think that playing music is probably one of the most frustrating things to do, but also one of the most rewarding when you finally get something right. I remember playing fast runs over and over and over again in marching band until my forearms burned and my hands cramped up and I had blisters between my fingers, sometimes because I was forced to but sometimes out of my own free will. Even then I would just keep getting it wrong over and over again until I felt like crying. The thing is that improvement in music is so painstakingly gradual that you rarely notice it has taken place at all unless you actually take a second to think about how badly you sucked before. But I just wish I could be really good at like 5 instuments RIGHT NOW. Sigh, why didn't I start sooner?

Dienstag, Dezember 26

excited!!!!!!!!!

Just look at that face.



I haven't been this thrilled by a christmas gift since rollerblades.

Montag, Dezember 25

IGOTABANJOIGOTABANJOIGOTABANJO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gotta go practice.

Sonntag, Dezember 24

In heaven the bells are ringing

I have a good feeling about these scalloped potatoes. And I hate to say it, but at almost 20 years of age I still get pretty excited when I see all those presents under the tree. However, I am also excited about church tonight. So I guess I am not that bad a person. mmmm candles, carols, melancholy goodness. Can't wait.
but you had to know that I was fond of you

fond

of

y

o

u

Samstag, Dezember 23

things I do not understand

german people liking hasslehoff not in an ironic way

marching band instructors

tom waits, castanets, mogwai

the internets

Freitag, Dezember 22

My arbitrary number of favorite songs from 2006 in no particular order:

bloc party- modern love
stars- your ex-lover is dead
bob dylan- baby let me follow you down
animal collective- winters love
sufjan stevens- he woke me up again
broken social scene- anthems for a 17 year old girl
stars- what the snowman learned about love
animal collective- i remember learning how to dive
black bear- black bear
sufjan stevens- sister
joanna newsom- sadie
a silver mt. zion- God bless our dead marines
feist- mushaboom
metric- combat baby
mountain goats- fault lines
the shins- the gloating sun
the decemberists- on the bus mall
death cab for cutie- your heart is an empty room
sigur ros- hoppípolla
sufjan stevens- once in royal david's city
joanna newsom- clam crab cockle cowrie
iron and wine- chelsea hotel no. 2
pixies- debaser
kanye west- gold digger
christmas in july- sufjan stevens
Tonight was a very good night. I couldn't have hoped for anything more, honestly.

Oh dear. I just saw a commercial for a philly cheese steak burger. It has a burger patty AND pieces of "steak." The shit carls junior comes up with honestly makes me wanna barf somethimes. I'll take the green burrito any day.

Donnerstag, Dezember 21

Black Bear

In the woods in the mountains is a good place to begin
a song about a black bear living in his black bear den
doing all the black bear things a black bear just might do
I hope in my next lifetime I could be a black bear too
And here comes black bear now, crashing through the brush
unfazed by thorns and branches that would hurt me to the touch
in the pursuit of some small animal; the foodchain is a truth
and the bear has the advantage of the massive claw and tooth
but he'll also stop for berries or honey from the bees
or nuts that he can shake down from the canopy of trees
and afterward he'll have his choice from any stream to drink
while I fill up another cup from my old kitchen sink
and if he wants, he'll have a nap and dream his black bear dreams
that I could onyll dream of like i dream to drink from streams
and as he sleeps he hears the breeze and knows that he is safe
while I'm sleeping with the fan on to drown out my lack of faith
the simplicity of solitude is a hard one to perfect
stealing happiness from lonliness is not a simply theft
but the black bear has it figured out and gets what he deserves
and the fur that he is wearing is the fur that he prefers
and when he stared across the river
into my eyes it made me shiver
and i knew that it was lovely
to have a black bear thinking of me
and when he thinks, he is thoughtful
and when he rests, he is restful
and when he runs, he runs the fastest
and spins the earth right on its axes
and that's his gift to all, showing us the sun
keeping time for everyone, a steady beating drum
and in all the dirt he bounds upon he leaves a stady track
that is deep when he is young and blue, but deepest when he's black
because color for the black bear is a synonym for age
if I were one then i'd be in my cinnamon phase
instead I am at twenty two and the decades way a ton
this new century's essentially a bullet from a gun
it takes coffee pots that cost a lot just to stay abreast
but the coffee hits my sense of loss and makes a nervous wreck
the simplicity of solitude is a hard one to perfect
stealing happiness from lonliness is not a simple theft
but the black bear has it figured out and gets what he deserves
and the fur that he is wearing is the fur that he prefers

Yoshinoya Beef Bowl

I made a funny.

Dienstag, Dezember 19

Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset

For some reason the shins make so much more sense to me in the context of a car. It's probably because that's really the only place I have listened to them over the years. I have a very limited CD collection, you see, so the shins get a lot of play, and after having beaten them into a bloody pulp while driving back and forth in everyday life, I really have no desire to listen to them at home or on my ipod. Anyway, I have been listening to Wincing the Night Away a lot the past few days and being like meh, it's pretty good. But last night while driving around with Josh it was so much better.

As far as I'm concerned, some songs just need some scenery in order for you to understand them. Like one time I was listening to Saeglopur by Sigur Ros while walking across campus on a grey afternoon and watching everyone's faces go by, and suddenly I fell in love with the band, so much so that when my TA happened to ask us in class that day about our favorite music, I almost raised my hand and said Sigur Ros. I had to remind myself that for one thing I would sound like a pretentious asshole, and also that I had only heard two songs by them. Or the time when I sat on a rock at Windansea beach watching the sillhouettes of a father and son play in the waves at sunset, while listening to Anthems for a 17 Year Old Girl by broken social scene. I always liked the song, but at that moment I felt like I got it. Not the lyrics or anything, but something about that banjo and the violins and the way they make you feel.

Or take America by Simon and Garfunkel. It's a great song no matter when you hear it, but doesn't it's greatness just increase exponentially the second you put it in a car? I could be sitting at the intersection next to vons, and suddenly everything becomes so beautiful. All of a sudden those SUVs aren't going to Taco Bell or the ATM. They're looking for America! Aren't we all? You picture yourself on the trip they're describing, Michigan really does seem a dream, you really are empty and aching, and you really don't know why. But it might have to do with you sticking some cheesy mix CD entitled "Crusin Music" into your dashboard.

And then there are the songs that need air. The ones where I feel this inexplicable need to roll down my window and scream out the lyrics to the world. This most often occurs with El Scorcho by Weezer. It just feels so good. And there are songs that sound better driving at night time. The ones that need the contast of the bright lights against the darkness and the speed and the recklessness of the night. I am thinking specifically of Did You See The Words by Animal Collective here. It sounds good right now, but last night, driving, it sounded really good.

It's kind of strange that music should be this way when one considers that it's usually made within the confines of a recording studio. I mean you can't exactly write a song in the fast lane of the 5, and you can't make a decent recording on the beach at sunset. So how do they get that stuff in there? It's a mystery to me. Maybe the song itself is like an empty vessel that we fill up with our own meanings and associations. But I like to think that maybe if the people who made the songs were to see the things I see, they might feel the same way.

So I guess what I need to do is burn myself a copy of wincing the night away, put it in my silly sun visor CD holder thingy, and never bother listening to it in front of this computer screen ever again.

Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore

Over the past few years it's become sort of a tradition for me and various friends to go see the Christmas lights at Thoroughbred Lane. This year, what with people working and coming home for break at different times and losing touch and not caring that much, I didn't think it would happen, really. I imagined a couple of us would maybe go and it would be alright, but I didn't really believe it would be a big group activity like it was in the past. However, I figured that the least I could do is try. So for once I didn't pull my usual resentful of leadership supposedly indifferent crap and hey, what do you know, I actually found a day when people are free, and if all goes as planned, I guess we are actually all going to go see the lights on Thursday. This makes me happy. It's good to know that despite all the distance and plans fallen-through and ignored, and hard feelings and good feelings, we are at least still capable of all getting in a car at the same time and donning some scarves and sharing some laughs and walking down a pretty street together. Makes me wanna sing!

oldest friends who are dear to us
gather near to us once more
and through the years we all will be together
if the fates allow
hang a shining star upon the highest bough
and have yourself a merry little Christmas now



yeah right! But such a nice song.

Samstag, Dezember 16

Wincing the Night Away

by the way I AM SO ANGRY THAT I MISSED THE SHINS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It just hit me how much that sucks. gaaahhhh I love them so much. Furthermore, I can't believe Charlene got to go. She has all the luck.

Their new album is pretty much really good. And I can tell it will grow on me.
I almost forgot about my resolution to post the lyrics of amazing Christmas carols. Good thing I am so narcissistic and enjoy reading my old blogs over and over again. Phew!

Anyway, ok, I guess Oh Little Town of Bethlehem is pretty amazing!

Oh little town of Bethlehem,
how still we see thee lie.
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep,
the silent stars go by.
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
the everlasting light,
the hopes and fears of all the years
are met in thee tonight.

How silently, how silently,
the wondrous gift is given,
how God imparts to human hearts
the blessings of his heaven.
No ear may hear him coming,
but in this world of sin,
where meek souls will receive him still
the dear Christ enters in.


This song is amazing because it's about how God chooses small and weak things to do his will. Like for instance Bethlehem and us. How he does things quietly and doesn't need make a big show about it in order for it to mean something big. It's just that there was this small quiet little town called Bethlehem and one night God was born there. That's all. So simple and yet so profound. Also this song has a really great melody that must have some minor chords or something that makes it sound so dark and beautiful. When I hear this song I feel like for a few minutes, I understand.

See them fashion a cap from a page of Camus

I was just reading a list of "5 Great Ways to Increase Hope" in, supposedly, The World's Best Bathroom Book (I can, however, vouch for the fact that it is not). Way #3 made me LOL a little bit:

"Drink hot cocoa or eat a banana. Chocolate cures most problems, and it's been said that bananas cure existential dread."

WHAT?! Who says that? I don't know, but I'm sure glad they did.

Josh, I hope you're listening.

Freitag, Dezember 15

Edward Philip Quinlan-- the only person I know in the whole wide world who still admits to liking Linkin Park. You've gotta give him some credit for that, right? Eddie kid, I haven't seen you in centuries. What's up with that?

Shut the hell up, you dumb freakin Swede!

Spent today watching Grumpy Old Men (a very underapreciated movie, in my opinion), baking cookies for the extended family to eat on saturday, and uploading old music to Whitfield's aunt's ipod which I am hoping she will like. Am currently listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival. "Do do do, looking out my back door!" Good times, great oldies. Kola 99.9?

Here are the promised oregon pictures, if anyone cares.

tree shopping:


freak:


copy cats:


bleak:


seasons?!




wise:


promise:

Donnerstag, Dezember 14

(in case you hadn't already heard about this)

I am friends with the Decemberists on myspace, and because of this (who needs pitchfork eh?) I have become aware of an epic battle that has been raging between the band and Stephen Colbert. Apparently they have ripped off Colbert's green-screen challenge, the one where he was flailing around with a light saber and fans supplied the background, and are currently running just such a contest to provide the background of the music video for their new (and not all that good) single "O Valencia!" In an act of revenge Colbert has now challenged viewers to incorporate the original light saber footage into the msuic video. "Let's see how well they perform their trademark brand of hyper-literate prog rock when I'm slicing off their legs at the knee," quoth he. The decembrists promptly issued a counter statement, claiming that Colbert had in fact stolen the idea of a light saber battle from the Decemberists, providing as proof a link to a youtube video of the band live in San Fransisco staging, sure enough, but not sure why, a light saber battle! Well anyway, they ended up challenging Colbert to a guitar duel, including in their official statement the phrase "let's SHRED", so you know it's serious, and he has just accepted, insisting that, "I am going to jam out a solo with so many dominant sevenths and ascending pentatonic patterns it'll make Yngwie Malmsteen sound like Raffi." The battle is to take place December 20th (supposedly to give the band the home field advantage) on Colbert's show, and I for one am looking forward to it.
Anu likes to make fun of me on her blog, so I will make fun of her on mine. I don't even need words to describe what a freak she is:



And this was even before I actually had to live in the same room with her. If only I had known.... Actually, on second thought, this is not even funny. More just disturbing and wrong.

Mittwoch, Dezember 13

word of the day: taxonomy

I just spent a pretty long time tagging my old blogs. I have a lot of posts about music and a lot of posts about complaining. I feel ok about the former but ashamed of the later. I guess I have something to work on. Anyway I had just been thinking to myself how satisfying tags (or "labels," according to Blogger) are, how they let you divide your thoughts into categories and make everything nice and seperate but also linked. And it was kind of funny, cause then I decided to check on the asthmatic kitty sidebar and was greeted by a new
essay
that was partly about the very same idea, only much more thougtful, wise, and well-written. Sigh, I suck.

Dienstag, Dezember 12

and I knew that it was lovely to have a black bear thinking of me

If you are looking for a good song to listen to, I recommend Black Bear by Black Bear. haha! It is especially nice while flying over northern California, the part with the snowy mountains and everything. But if you can't do that, a dark car with your friends at 4 in the morning is almost as good.

My friend Christopher Whitfield/Clubb is a pretty outstanding guy.



Yeah, that just happened! Well, no, actually that was like at least 3 months ago, but I just wanted to be one of the cool kids and quote Talladega Nights.

I will post some pictures from Oregon tomorrow, I think I got some pretty decent ones at the Christmas tree farm we went to. Oregon has a lot of trees and that is nice. The people there are nice as well, and so is the cold, as long as you have a coat.

Freitag, Dezember 8

Musicmusicmusicmusic, or, dear matt, I fixed the network problem and...


This is a picture how happy I feel right now on the inside. I love my brother and his downloading/organizing skills so much. 1.62 new gigs of wonderful new music (including never before heard material from the shins and iron and wine(!), as well as several bands I have been wanting to hear forever) just in time for my flight to oregon. Literally; I am leaving in two hours. Yikes, better pack eh?

blurry gas station phtotography with birds!


I've decided that blog are way more fun to read when they include pictures. And though I don't take pictures very often, I figure i can include an unrelated one now and then, just for the sake of it. It is nice to be home.

Mittwoch, Dezember 6

If the ice caps are really melting,
I would like to climb to the top of the world
and take a slide
down the slippery side
maybe hitch a ride
on a shard of ice
and ride the wave to California.

If the sun is really exploding,
I would like to climb to the top of a building
and take some shades
off the top of my head
and watch and feel
and drink the red
of the best-ever sunset.

If God is really coming,
I would like to crawl into a moldy basement
and hide beneath the cardboard
and my dog's old bed
and shudder and sputter
and hold my head
and try to be sorry enough.

-Anonymous

Homeward Bound

...is not only a really dumb movie about dogs, but will be me, tomorrow! It doesn't feel like the quarter is over, but I suppose it is. I guess I won't be seeing my school friends for a whole month, which is kind of weird, but not really. I think a lot of times we try to make a big deal of things like this because it makes us feel like our lives are more meaningful or something. I won't see my friends for a month, and then I will see them again. Oh well. There are more important things to make big deals about (yes, this is blatant hypocrisy, or maybe just a dis on my friends?). Namely, Christmas and traveling. I think I am going to watch Elf later to get myself in the spirit of things, because if there's one thing that will knock the jolliness right out of you, it's finals week.

at least I spelled your name right?

Finals are done! Except for physics, which I am actually trying to do badly on. What a relief.

Wilco- We're Just Friends
Sufjan Stevens- Dumb I Sound
Neutral Milk Hotel- Two Headed Boy pt. 2
Postal Service- Natural Anthem
The New Pornographers- Blown Speakers

are good songs today.

I have a lot of music I need to catch up on. I haven't even heard the new albums from the shins, the decemberists, or damien rice. What a horrible fan I am. I also have an ever-increasing list of music I want to check out but have not gotten around to. The problem is, I keep on forgetting it.

Dienstag, Dezember 5

I am not sure, but I think this might be the tiredest I have ever been in my entire life. That is probably not true, but it feels true at the moment. I really am not sure how I managed to get out of bed, but it was definitely a miracle because when i got to work, I literally could not keep my eyes open. I know this is a figure of speech but it actually happened to me. I could only open them for a couple seconds at a time cause they hurt so bad. After a ginormous double shot mocha I am still staring blankly with my mouth hanging open and dropping a lot of stuff. I don't think I have checked out a single movie so far without dropping at least one thing. Oh, I cannot wait for this day to be over. The good news is, I actually feel prepared for my lit final. It came at a high cost, but if I'm lucky I might pull off the A that I am aiming for. If I can stay awake a few more hours, that is.
21+ shows are quite possibly the dumbest thing ever. I want to die. I need a fake ID so badly. Who can hook me up?

Montag, Dezember 4

It's amazing that after all these years, 20 to be exact, of hearing the very same songs every December, I am still often blown away by the depth and and beauty of certain Christmas carols. There is more to them than just warm fuzzies and a manger scene, and I don't think people usually stop to think about the radical theological claims being made, or the dark imagery, or even just the creepy tunes that many of them have. Also, isn't it incredible how old they are? Some of these songs that we are still singing today are hundreds of years old, a lot of them have been translated form French and German and Latin and other stuff. Like, how cool is that? Can we just take a moment and consider what that says about Christianity, or rather, the power of music to hold an incredibly large bunch of people together, if only ever so slightly? Doesn't the very idea of some 16th century german peasant singing Silent Night (that is, Stille Nacht) give you an incredible feeling of hope? Well, it does for me. Thus, in my attempt to share some of my appreciation for traditional Christmas carols with my own small corner of the world, I have decided to start posting the lyrics of certain songs that strike my fancy here. Ahem:

[(the best)parts of] What Child is This?
(creepy tune courtesy of Greensleeves)

Why lies He in such mean estate,
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christian fear, for sinners here
The silent Word is pleading.

Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,
The cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Raise, raise a song on high,
The virgin sings her lullaby,
Joy, joy for Christ is born,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.


dang homie, what up?
Ask me how bad today sucks. Go ahead, I'll wait.

...

How bad does today suck?! really bad! Had to turn in my paper at 7AM in warren, had a final at 8, another final at 11:30, been at work since 3. This would all be fine and good if it weren't for the fact that my most important final is tomorrow and I was lucky enough to score another 5 hour shift tomorrow morning starting at 9. I was hoping to get some studying done here, but alas, it seems that UCSD is full to the brim of horrendous procrastinators who have decided to watch the films they need for their papers on the very last night possible. Good job guys, way to go, keep up the good work. Hooraaaaay coffee.

Sonntag, Dezember 3

8 page lit paper on nathaniel hawthorne's views on women: check

studying for linguistics: check

frozen burrito: check

tater tots: check

coffee: check

animal crackers: check

myspace: check

german: heh...

gotta go!

Samstag, Dezember 2

Oh, Tannenbaum...

I found this little thingy on my starbucks cup tongiht and I thought it was pretty cute:

Classic hats and corncob pipes embellish frosty makeovers, leaving us some temporary but well-accessorized lawn buddies.

I have not been to starbucks forever because they don't have one on my campus. But I kind of miss it a little. They do a really good job of making you feel warm and cozy, with the Christmas decorations and the music and the smells. I was actually pretty disappointed when my drink was done, I wanted to stay and look at the mugs.

There is something about finals week that makes me wanna decorate the shit out of my walls with tape. Last night, Anu and I, I mean Santa, decked the halls. It's glorious. See for yourself.



...Wie treu sind deine Blätter!
I am about to do one of those myspace bulletin surveys as a reward for having written 2 pages of my lit paper tonight. I know, right? Outside the window people are having fun. Lesigh.

Edit: turns out those people were actually my friends. Wow. Pathetic.

Freitag, Dezember 1

Wow, that just happened.

So today in german we were talking about communication and she asked if any of us keeps a blog, so I said that yes, I do. And apparently I am the only one in the class who does, which was odd, but whatever. So there's this kid in the the corner and he's your typical socially-awkward-doesn't-speak-often-but-when-he-does-it's-always-something-weird types. And he's shaking his head in agony over there like he's really trying to hold back from saying something, and obviously he wants the teacher to call on him. So she humors him, and after a few seconds of acting like he doesn't want to say it, he's like "ok, I'm just gonna have to say this in english: I think all people who keep blogs are pretentious." A direct attack! I was floored, not by the fact that he thought it, because well, I mean I guess it's true, but more by the fact that he had the nerve to say it right in front of me. You can imagine the discomfort that took place during the next minute or so as he explained that all bloggers "think they know everything" and "whine about everything." It was mostly nervous laughter all around, while the teacher tried her best to smooth over the situation. After class I went up and asked her how to say "awkward" in german. It seems that i will be needing that word a lot next quarter.