this is a test

Shit man, I heard some seriously terrible poetry today. Like woah. I think we could probably just have all listened to "The world is a rainbow" by Rafii and that would have been more thoughtful than the stuff I was listening to. uuuuuughh sometimes being in writing classes really makes me disappointed in humanity. This is the part where I should say "but there was also some really good stuff," but I don't feel like saying that right now, ok?!


(there was, though)

also:

Oh my God.

http://www.stereogum.com/archives/new-sufjan-stevens-in-the-words-of-the-governor-st.html#more

too excited for html, sorry.

You have no idea how happy this makes me.

The shins playing the streets of Paris. I almost cried, seriously.

http://www.dailymotion.com/related/3520037/video/x1pcay_44-the-shins-part1/1

There is also a really really great one of sufjan. Really really great. Really really really great.

today's thoughts.

Is it wrong to be secretly glad when coffee spills all over your poetry reader? (related: is there such a thing as an accident? think: there's a boy in the girl's bathroom)

also: Is it wrong to know your poem will be misunderstood and yet not change it just so you can feel complicated?

also: Is it wrong to bend your notebook back and forth for the length of an entire poetry reading, so that it feels more broken in? (Same question applies to purposely scuffing up converse tennis shoes.)

new topic: Some people are really easy to make fun of. Are these the best people, or the worst?

note to reader: Don't misunderstand me, at least not willfully.

9th grade nostalgia night

is tomorrow just a day
like all the rest
how could you know just what you did
so full of faith yet full of doubt
I ask
again
I shall ask you this once again
he said
I am but one small instrument
do you remember that?
time and time again you said
don't be afaid
if you believe you can do it
the only voice i want to hear is yours
again
I shall ask you this once again
he said
I am but one small instrument
do you remember that?
so here here I am above palm trees
so straight and tall
you are smaller
getting smaller but I still
see
you

-jimmy eat world


(I think I am going to have to put A Prayer for Owen Meany as number one on my summer reading list, cause it's kind of stalking me a little bit)

please be patient with me

Ok, I really like this new Wilco album. It's so 70s and nostalgic sounding. Not that I was alive in the 70s, but my parents were, and my earliest music memories reflect this.

Tonight I am staying up all night, just because it's easier that way. What's the point of sleeping for a couple hours, just to be incredibly late and not rested and worse at life in general? Besides, early morning hours are good for wallowing.

Today I went to a student reading of poetry and prose and there was some really amazing stuff going on there. My tutor for fiction class was one of the people reading and her stories were really great, which makes me feel good about the fact that she always compliments my writing (which is even better when I consider that I don't actually try very hard at all in that class because it annoys me). The other three people were great too; I won't go into it, but you can just take my word, I suppose. I wondered to myself how it is that these guys who are only a couple years older than I am manage to take themselves so seriously, not just as writers, but in general. I have a lot of trouble taking myself seriously. I feel the need to apologize for the things I do, or laugh them off as silly even when I don't think they are silly at all. At this point in my life, however, this may be for the best.

Tonight I had a strong urge to get in my car and go running (that is, driving--this is america, after all) for the hills. More specifically, the foothills directly below mount baldy. I'm not sure what caused this, besides the pure and pathetic need to escape. The season finale of Lost depressed me a lot, among other things, and I just wanted to get out. Maybe it's just spring fever. Maybe the sun just needs to come out (did you know in san diego they have something called "may gray"? "June gloom" doesnt quite seem to cover it down here by the ocean. they had to come up with "may gray" as well to articulate the extent of this dismal mediocre weather that is the bane of every student's springtime existence). Maybe I just need to do my german grammar exercises and not write so much poetry, or papers about it for that matter. Yeah, must be all the poetry.

Because I was lacking in inspiration for my long poem today, I sent both Josh and Whitfield the same text message, which read, "If you had to write a poem about the 909, what would you write?"

Josh replied:
How cynical and disenchanted living in it has made me. Or how I hate bros.

Whitfield replied:
Josh


Thats when I knew I was on the right track.

I have been feeling pretty down today. But, I had a good cry to some elliott smith (sadly, I am not joking about this), cleaned my room a lot, and started my laundry. I feel quite a bit better now.

Ouch

When I stood up out of bed this morning, I realized that pretty much every muscle in my body is sore and stiff. I can't imagine what could have caused this, except for maybe trying to hold back mobs of people while waiting in "line" for sungod, or dancing for like 2 hours straight. I was also silly enough to wear my rainbows, which resulted in the breakage of both big toe nails. What I'm trying to get at here is, Sungod was fun!




Today, however, I am feeling rather sad.

UCSD? more like

MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY!!!!

Dude, so I was watching the san diego news (lolz) just now, and guess what I saw? You know that corner down on Arrow where all the day laborers stand? Well on that corner two of the guys got KIDNAPPED and the kidnappers drove them all the way down to TJ and left them there! Like holy crap. I mean first of all, wow, Rancho was on the news! I was like, I KNOW THAT CORNER. But secondly, and more importantly, that is so incredibly messed up. That's just the kind of inhumane bullshit that anti-immigration people get criticized for all the time. It's one thing to talk about it on a political or economic level, but to actually attack two guys who are just trying to do the best they can is not ok. As if the kidnappers wouldn't have done the exact same thing in their position.

But don't worry guys, Matt and I have a lead that we're gonna follow up on. Matt's gonna make it big after this expose. The New York Times will be knocking at his door in no time. Let's just say there a couple of AM talk show hosts that fit the profile of the kidnappers exactly... more at 11.

New Wilco album, yeah!

Sarah's coming tomorrow!

So much to do tonight!

I AM SUCH A SLACKER.

I am listening to 70s music right now. It makes me feel good inside. almost as good as 60s music. Whitfield's mother told me the other night that she once got to go onstage with Donovan. HOLY CRAP. You grown ups are so lucky. No, on second thought, I think our music is better. Yeah, I said it.

deng

I am up really late right now. Once again, I am not looking forward ot the morning. But then, do I ever?

This weekend is has started out very well. I went out to dinner with my parents, to the bucks (FO FREE!) and to Jumping Jack's! For those of you losers who don't already know, Jumping Jack's is basically two huge rooms full of blow up bouncy things, where kids have birthday parties and act crazy. Damian works there, and some fool gave him a set of keys, so we got to go play in there at like 2 in the morning, which was great. Apparently this is a common activity among those who know Damian, but it was my first time in this magical wonderland of rubber. There were bungee cord races involved, as well as slides sprayed with Pledge for faster sliding, and air hockey. The only thing is that I, the biggest clutz of all time, have managed to sustain a neck injury. Woops. I am not looking forward to the morning, that's all I have to say about that.

edit: morning has come, and the neck feels much better. thanks for your concern.

Today

It was hot out, and German class was at the Grove cafe, and I sat outside eating ice cream for lunch, and I went to a poetry/novel reading that was pretty great, and I took an amazing nap. then i ate chipotle with whitfield and spent the rest of the night sitting on the balcony drinking orange soda with anu and yasha. there are all kinds of bugs in our room from leaving the window open, but summer is coming, and I bought 24 newly released elliott smith songs on itunes. cool!


we will write
a postcard to our
friends and family
in free verse

some important questions

pandatiger

If I were an animal
I would be a brown bear
and my roommate would be a wild boar
what kind of animal
would you be?




spicy grass

what is the smell of summer?
is it calomine?



What is the meaning of life?

When there are wars
and the SARS
and babies cry
What is the meaning of life?




not and

what do you use when you don't use and?
do you use not-and?

my life as an english major

SPEAKER and READER are just easy ways to say I think YOU are a bad WRITER and I wanted to lay down and cry or maybe kill MYSELF when I READ YOUR short story.

On my way to work just now I was ATTACKED BY A BIRD. Twice.

My head:

most confused ever

My job:

most boring ever

late 80s, early 90s:

worst fashion ever

Mangoriffic:

worst idea ever

Yesterday I was lying there in the sun listening to sigur ros on my ipod with my eyes closed. Toward the end of the song, which was Olsen Olsen (Mary Kate and Ashley? I always wondered.), I opened my eyes to find a cute little bird sitting on top of the light post directly in my line of vision. He was brown and fat and chirping all cute-like. I pretended like he was playing the piccolo part at the end, and it was awesome. Either he, the clouds, or I was moving, but I couldn't tell which. I suppose probably the clouds, but it's all relative, really.

So for Sungod this year we have TI, Third Eye Blind, Ben Kweller, and others that I do not recognize. Not too bad, not too bad. especially compared to last year's fiasco...

So I'm standing there putting a lid on my mocha when this guy next to me says, "How's it going."
I turn my head, surprised, but before I can answer he's all, "What kind of drink is that?"
"Oh, it's just a mocha." I say.
"What kind?"
"Just a regular one." He doesn't seem to find this response sufficient. "Well it's nonfat, but it's just a regular--"
"what flavor?"
"well, just chocolate."
"chocolate?"
"yeah." There is a short pause during which I consider whether mocha does, in fact, imply chocolate, as I always assumed it had. I decide that I am pretty sure it does.
"Yeah, I switched to non-fat a long time ago." He continues. "I think Americans drink too much milk [I laugh]. And if you add up all the grams of fat in a glass of whole milk?"
"Yeah, it's a lot."
"Yeah, and if you like subtract the number of fat, of calories, you know, by switching to skim?"
"yeah, I know, it makes a big difference."
I am done preparing my drink and turn away, looking toward the counter to see if my bagel is ready yet, hoping that it is.
"Nice talking to you," he says.
"Yeah, bye," I say.

I can't believe I did Mr. J a favor today. That jerk with his wannabe eloquent diction.