Look.

If I had known that I would later be forced to spend another two hours talking about this stupid made up memory, I wouldn't have written it in the first palce. Thanks for the heads-up.

I don't know if I wanna be a writer anymore. I just want my profession to be laying on the grass, or iPod listening, or looking out windows.

This morning my coworker Jade told me that she once had a dream where the film and video reserves was not just the film and video reserves, but also dairy queen. Like, I'll have FVLDV 1056-1, and a butterfinger Blizzard, please. Or, Would you like to make that "Amores Perros" a combo for only 45 cents more? I thought that was pretty much the best thing I've ever heard. Keep up the good work, er, dreams, Jade.

It was so warm this morning that I didnt even consider taking a sweater. I wish I could go to the beach instead of sitting in here. but I am watching Goodbye Lenin, which is good.

Phrane

Writing in English about a poem that's written in German makes me feel schizometric.

Bright Eyes

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP SHUT. UP.

I miss

There are certain lines in movies that I have always wished a guy would say to me. I'm not talking about anything lame like "Here's looking at you, kid," or "You had me from hello." Eww. I just really wish someone would ask me if I'd like to go eat a bag of caramels sometime. I would be so down. Also, I wouldn't be opposed to a classic "because everyone else is boring, and you're different" every once in a while. But this, like most other things, is just too much to ask. I suppose that is what movies are for.

I don't really know what to do with myself today.

Der Radwechsel

I read this totally great poem in my german poetry class today, by Bertold Brecht, and this was it:

Ich setze am Straßenrand.
Der Fahrer wechselt das Rad.
Ich bin nicht gern, wo ich herkomme.
Ich bin night gern, wo ich hinfahre.
Warum sehe ich den Radwechsel
Mit Ungeduld?



Which means something along the lines of:

I sit on the roadside.
The driver changes the tire.
I do not like where I come from.
I do not like where I am going.
Why do I watch the tire-change
with impatience?



That was my own terrible translation, but you get the idea. Cool, huh? I hope it doesn't sond corny in english. It seems to me like the germans can say anything they want and be so dead serious about it that it never comes out corny. we americans have to be more careful.

An open letter to whoever left the swedish fish on my desk:

I hope you meant for me to eat them, and didn't just forget them or something. Because you can't just go around leaving swedish fish all over the place and expect for them to be there later. Finders keepers, is all I'm sayin.

Sincerely,
Mandy

This is just to say

I volunteered to read the poem making fun of William Carlos Williams out loud.
I'm not sorry, because we talked about it all weekend
and I didn't want anyone else to have it.





Also, I got a letter from King's College today, informing me which classes I have been "allocated," which means the ones I am stuck with, like it or not. They are

modern theater,
victorians and social change,
elizabethan shakespeare,
twentieth century postwar fiction,

australian literature and film,
first world war literature,
paradise lost,
and poetry in america 1900-1950.

Luckily, I am pretty happy with these courses. I am going to move to london for a year and read a lot.

I have been feeling blank lately. I have nothing to say these days. Berkeley was good, I believe, but I feel blank about that too. I wish I had more to say for myself while there. The drive was long, but I like long drives. I didn't sleep last night, but that's ok. Roadtrips make me nostalgic for other roadtrips. I wrote a poem this morning about Pete Seeger and me and Sarah Rothberg. It was an assignment. I have good things to read.

Holy crap today Yasha gave me a little Moleskine notebook! It's wonderful. I can't wait to use it, but I have to think of something really good to put in it so as to not spoil it's beautiful writerly goodness. You should see the lines, they're just the right size. Speaking of writing, I have to do a lot of it and I don't have any time but I can't wait to go on our roadtrip to Berkeley!

The Shins

Look, I know a lot of people don't think they're that big a deal, but I never understood it. I guess they're not exactly groundbreaking or anything, but they have produced three nearly perfect albums of damn good music. Everything is just so good, the lyrics and the bass and the catchy melodies and it's all so controlled but fun and sad and nostalgic and you can sing along really loud. Yet while the goodness remains constant, their sound completely changes with each album, which is amazing! I mean you can barely even recognize the vocals as being from the same guy. OK, I guess you can, but you get my point. I guess people never really forgave them for the Garden State thing, and I agree that listening to someone as important as Natalie Portman talk about the shins like she's one of us pathetic souls-- who need independent music, the idea of independent music, like we need coffee, mothers, human touch-- is like nails on a chalk board. But if any band deserved such a blatant name drop, it was the shins. They're so ridiculously accessible, that I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Besides, if Zack Braff had known he was going to take the indie right out of his favorite indie band, i.e. if he had known his film was going to be such a hit, I like to think he might not have done it. Anyway, the point of this absurd post is simply to say that I am finally going to go see them tomorrow, after at least six years of fandom, and I am stoked.

In other news, non-fat cream cheese is grossgrossgrossgrossgross. It has this really terrible chalky texture that literally made me gag a few minutes ago. Thanks Summit for helping me start the day off right.

I almost forgot to say

I AM GOING TO LONDON NEXT YEAR!

To study at King's College, University of London! Which is apparently the 7th best school in the nation! And also apparently number one for English! That's only according to one ranking! But it seems to be pretty legit!



sooooo excited slash terrified.

It was Sufjan Stevens. Music and internet stalking.



Happy Easter! He is risen indeed.

like a rolling stone
a like a rolling stone
like the FBI
and the CIA
and the BBC
BB King
a Doris Day
Matt Busby
dig it dig it dig it dig it dig it dig it dig it dig it

is it ok
if your poem doesn't make
sense even to you
as long as it is arranged in
lines like this?


Man, I hope so.

Paradiddle

I just saw Ratatat at the pub--FOR FREE! (Imagine i said that like the "unforgivable" guy please, ok thanks) It was like omg so fun, charles and eric and I and others were dancing like crazy and whitfield was dancing a little bit too. Their music is great, and although I would probably never sit around and listen to it, it's perfect for a show. Also, they had a really nice thing going on with the screen and the shadows... never mind. Definitely going on my list of favorite concerts. It's nice to go to shows here and run into all kinds of people and meet people and see people in general. Especially on a tuesday.

In other news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my lovely roommate Pam Rajagopal. It's the big 2-0. In other words, my roommate is very depressed today. But we will cheer her up with some delicious Greek goodness, most likely involving many different cheeses. Can't wait!

back to school,
back to green bed,
back to black coffee,
back to clean air.


Finished Miss Lonelyhearts by Nathanael West. It was really good. Also hugely depressing, but in a good way. Gotta read 3 short stories, one off them being The Metamorphasis, by Wednesday, and who knows what else. The quarter system is indeed merciless. In an hour I begin poetry--first reading it in german, then writing it. I am scared!