The trouble with being me at this time of year between thanksgiving and going home for break is that I always feel pretty miserable (I was going to say, "the trouble with being a college student who cares too much about her grades and also christmas and is also kind of homesick and trying to come to terms with being a 'young adult' and grow up with the least amount of trauma possible," but I figured it would be more truthful to just write "me" and then explain why I did so parenthetically). I feel like I am missing out on absolutely all of the fun and christmas cheer while I sit in my room churning out papers and cramming my head full of facts. I feel like everyone else in the entire world must be, right at this moment, cutting out christmas cookies while watching It's a Wonderful Life, sitting in some sort of beautiful church listening to christmas carols, drinking mulled wine in ancient pubs, shopping at cute markets with their adorable little families (this I actually have very good reason to believe), or at least getting really drunk somewhere in picadilly circus. But I feel so far away from all of that. I am trapped in a world of online television, procrastination, nocturnalism, over-eating... well, basically trapped in the finals week style college experience. I am missing it! I am missing it all, and it's all my fault.

It's funny how we Californians assume that colder weather will mean a more christmasy environment. We are somehow convinced, in other words, that the rest of the world is having a way more authentic christmas than we are. We even try to pretend it's colder than it is by wearing unnecessary scarves and caps when we go out at night. But now that I am here in London, with my hands stuffed in my pockets and my scarf and the hot chocolate and the outdoor ice-skating and the millions of twinkle lights, I finally understand that it's really all about the music and the nostalgia. I can't feel nostalgic in London but I can in Fontana, therefore Fontana will always be the more Christmasy place in my mind, despite it's appearance. Speaking of nostalgia, I have to go write 4,500 words about it. I'm not kidding. Tis the season to be scholarly. falalalalalalalala.